my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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