Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
