i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
