so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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