i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
