Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
