Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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