I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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