As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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