are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
