this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
