i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
