she looked like the before picture.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You're like the curious george of whores
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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