I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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