onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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