My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think people are normalizing furries
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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