got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
