The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need moral support for this bender
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
