i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
