the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
