she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
