i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
