he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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