butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
