I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
