She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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