Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize