i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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