I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
