Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
