Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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