Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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