So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
