i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
