But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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