apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
