grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
