Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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