: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
