his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
