Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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