You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
50% drunk capacity currently
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize