I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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