I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
