Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
