just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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