I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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