Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
