if only i could text you this smell
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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