i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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