I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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