I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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