my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now