Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.

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  (479): How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her. http://tfl.nu/z3i9
  Replies (141) Good night (976) Bad night (2941)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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  (856): its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer. (978): college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you. http://tfl.nu/udtk
  Replies (45) Good night (4657) Bad night (1179)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever

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  (910): phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever http://tfl.nu/0zmb
  Replies (19) Good night (6112) Bad night (716)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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  (908): Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage. http://tfl.nu/uh3k
  Replies (14) Good night (5889) Bad night (1400)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate

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  (508): i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate http://tfl.nu/vubl
  Replies (16) Good night (6140) Bad night (997)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.

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  (484): the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished. http://tfl.nu/p2b9
  Replies (7) Good night (5565) Bad night (1132)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.

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  (757): I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you. http://tfl.nu/6wwz
  Replies (5) Good night (2033) Bad night (835)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.

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  (201): I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed. http://tfl.nu/jlau
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (1889)
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  (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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  (510): Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you? http://tfl.nu/34q2
  Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (869)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.

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  (570): Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep. http://tfl.nu/bc4p
  Replies (1) Good night (965) Bad night (384)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.

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  (312): I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will. http://tfl.nu/1dfb
  Replies (0) Good night (744) Bad night (482)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation

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  (734): I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation http://tfl.nu/fh6w
  Replies (6) Good night (577) Bad night (493)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.

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  (847): I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you. http://tfl.nu/oizv
  Replies (0) Good night (816) Bad night (276)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon

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  (917): Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon http://tfl.nu/148n
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (216)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.

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  (205): You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while. http://tfl.nu/3e5e
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (723)

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