Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals

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(206): Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals http://tfl.nu/cfxk

Replies (12) Good night (1301) Bad night (555)
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(323): View more from California

Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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(323): Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch. http://tfl.nu/9pbk

Replies (29) Good night (1946) Bad night (554)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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(501): My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog. http://tfl.nu/5h53

Replies (18) Good night (1056) Bad night (2219)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Do you want the good news or bad news first?

(678): View more from Georgia

bad news

(205): View more from Alabama

The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.

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(205): Do you want the good news or bad news first? (678): bad news (205): The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos. http://tfl.nu/6wx8

Replies (17) Good night (4030) Bad night (1597)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty

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(732): please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty http://tfl.nu/l1xo

Replies (31) Good night (1115) Bad night (3973)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.

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(337): I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week. http://tfl.nu/rnvn

Replies (27) Good night (4701) Bad night (800)
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing

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(917): I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing http://tfl.nu/4nw4

Replies (29) Good night (3331) Bad night (4527)
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(740): View more from Ohio

new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.

(419): View more from Ohio

you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.

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(740): new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner. (419): you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio. http://tfl.nu/k9v1

Replies (27) Good night (4368) Bad night (933)
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(954): View more from Florida

8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.

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(954): 8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on. http://tfl.nu/8x7p

Replies (6) Good night (5442) Bad night (909)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.

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(505): Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/q053

Replies (25) Good night (1652) Bad night (3232)
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(707): View more from California

is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

(408): View more from California

your beer goggles are on backwards.

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(707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh

Replies (4) Good night (4114) Bad night (711)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

(774): View more from Massachusetts

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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(774): omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore.... (774): HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/0qjd

Replies (4) Good night (1849) Bad night (638)
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(916): View more from California

Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold

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(916): Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold http://tfl.nu/79ln

Replies (14) Good night (822) Bad night (1407)
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(713): View more from Texas

It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.

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(713): It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat. http://tfl.nu/xaim

Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (231)
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(407): View more from Florida

I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.

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(407): I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite. http://tfl.nu/f7w3

Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (237)

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