I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.