Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.