I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
