It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My penis needs a shock collar
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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