omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
