there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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