I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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