Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
