If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
