I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.