Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
