remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
