Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
