If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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