i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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