And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
