i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
