yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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