I feel like I'm in dance class right now
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck