thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
