I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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